Armed by a pep talk from a stranger he'd met at a bar, a man went home and bellowed to his wife, "From now on, I'm the king of this castle.  My word is law.  When I want to eat, you'll run in and cook.  When I want my bath, you start the water.  We can start right now.  Lay out my tuxedo because I'm going out.  Alone!  And do you know who's going to tie my black tie?"

His wife said softly, "The undertaker!"